I’m going to let you in on a bunch of secrets.

Actually, none of these are secrets. (Sorry I lied to you already; we’re not off to a great start huh)

They’re not secrets; they are just VERY OBVIOUS THINGS that most people miss when they are hosting an event. And this is why most events are bad.

So if you’re tired of bad events and tired of spending your days socializing in mediocre/shallow/annoying ways, I’ve got great news for you: it doesn’t take much to be a good facilitator or a host.

If you do these things, the events you host will be in people’s top 80% of events they’ve attended. (Being a truly exceptional facilitator/host is another thing entirely; this post is not that. It’s about being pretty good)

Here are the not secret tips that somehow feel like secrets since at least 80% of events I’ve attended (out of hundreds per year) ignore these!!

Ready?

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8 tips to be in the top 80% of facilitators in the world

(Some have argued this will put you in the 95th percentile, which is true in my experience, but I’m hesitant to commit to that.)

1. Introduce yourself! And others! I will absolutely pass away on this hill. In fact I’ve died and been reincarnated about 14982 times already. 👻  If you are hosting an event, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR INTROS! “Event” includes “business meeting”. It includes “cocktail party.” It includes “networking session.” It includes “standing around in a circle, and one person joins the circle, but they’re standing kind of awkwardly and you invite them in.” Nick Gray in his book The 2-Hour Cocktail Party goes up on another hill in the same mountain range to die: have name tags.
2. Give people time and space to put their stuff down. Yes this applies to virtual events too. If someone comes to your house for a party, USUALLY you will take their coat or direct them to a place where they can put their stuff down. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a party where the host has ignored this. So why, outside of people’s homes, do they forget this? The number of times I’ve been to networking events with no place for my backpack?!?! If it’s a virtual event, encourage people to get comfortable! Give them a minute (and the reminder) to grab water! Or lower their standing desk! Or whatever, just please I beg you do something that helps people settle in.
3. Ask if everyone can see and hear 👁️👂🏾 Precursor: if you’re hosting the type of event where people have to register, include an open-ended field that asks about any accessibility needs OR PREFERENCES. You’d be surprised at what you learn. It will probably make you a better facilitator for the audiences you serve. Good times to ask if everyone can see and hear: when you’re doing audience Q&A and someone asks a really good Q but they’re quiet as a mouse. Or when you’re making an announcement. Or if YOU can’t see people in your audience. The number of times I, a relatively “normal” vision/hearing person, have not been able to see or hear, and thus wrote off the whole event as useless because I couldn’t experience it! Fun story: I went to a panel + networking event I was pretty excited about. I entered the venue and there was NOWHERE TO SIT. Because I am very short, all I could see were the butts of men in front of me. And because the speakers didn’t have mics, I could also not hear much. (Plus, butts muffle sound.) So yeah, don’t do this.
4. Have places for people to sit! Remember that story I just told you? Have chairs! Specifically, have enough chairs for EVERYONE to sit if they want to. Again, I’m a relatively able-bodied person, sort of kind of, but I have some issues that compel me to sit (especially if I’ve walked my booty all the way to an event!!). And even if I had no challenges… sometimes a girl needs to rest, you know? Your event is straight up not inclusive if you don’t have chairs.
5. Give people a way to visually identify facilitators or other support people. I’m honestly shocked at how even in virtual events where it is SO EASY to identify “staff”, people still forget to do this. You can literally add it to your display name on Zoom! So if we forget on online events, there’s no hope for IRL ones. JK, the hope is you. At Soapbox Seattle, all of our helpers wear fun paper chains (like the one I’m wearing in the pic below), and when people sign in, once people have put their stuff down, we offer them a beverage and let them know who’s around to help.

6. Say what your event is in advance and then actually DO THAT EVENT. This tip is a BOGO! Tell people (either in the beginning of the event and/or in the event description and/or in pre-event emails) what the event actually is. What’s the structure? What’s happening? Are we going to learn stuff? Socialize? Dance till we drop? Mentally prepare people for what the event holds, especially if there’s a vulnerability component. AND THEN ACTUALLY DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU’D DO. I recently went to an event that promised a training on good-hearted mischievous activism. But instead we spent 45 minutes watching YouTube videos of the good-hearted mischievous actions. No training was done. (I would have been content to sit and watch the videos; they were great videos, but that’s not why I went to the event.) And this includes ending on time: is YOUR job to keep track of time and start/plan/end the event accordingly!! People are trusting you with their schedules.
7. Don’t play music that blocks people from being able to hear each other. And have earplugs. Wow another BOGO! Few things irk me more than going to an actually pretty good event, meeting some actually super cool people, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO THEM!! Don’t freaking block conversations with music. Also, some people have sensory issues. Some people (most people I’d even say) can’t focus when there’s multiple auditory inputs.
8. If you are serving food, LABEL IT…

I cannot BELIEVE how many people tolerate unlabeled food at their events. I just went to a conference where HUNDREDS of people were gathering for a networking reception. And there was peanut sauce. Un. Labeled. I had to go find a volunteer (by the way, it was hard to know who the helpers were). An hour later, the peanut sauce was labeled but I didn't see any other food labels. Unless you are carrying around a public-use EpiPen at all times (which would be another issue on its own), LABEL YOUR FOOD!! The only other acceptable alternative I can think of is announcing what's in the food before everyone eats. Or having an early sign up where you collect dietary needs.

I BEG OF YOU please join me on my mission to end bad events. There is NO REASON we should be attending or hosting anything less than a “pretty good” event. We are fundamentally hardwired to gather as humans, and that’s why these tips are probably what a child would think of if you put them in charge of hosting an event. If you test that hypothesis, please reply back!

And get in touch with me to tell me any other obvious, easily doable facilitation tips that raise events from bad to pretty good. THANKS! 🙏🏾🙏🏾

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